Okie, so I might not be the chirpiest, bubbliest person around. I used to be leaning more towards that side of the scale but as years gone by, I don't know. I became more easily agitated and prone to shed tears.
Boy, I never used to shed tears easily. Nope. Not even in the toughest situations. In front of the telly, alone, yes. But never around others *shy*
But now, tears flow more easily. Good or bad? I think it's more of the latter. I should have more control. sigh. All this tears shedding thing came after I started dating. So, I guess I have to 'put the blame' on my ex-bf..haha. He was afterall my first love. The one who 'opened' me to the world of BG relationships (BGR).
Ahhh, but all that is besides the point isn't it? Seems like I digressed. Or didn't I?
Over the last 2 years, life has been in the category of 'topsy-turvy' for me. Especially in the area of work. Maybe it's more prevalent in that area. I don't know why. Ever since I left my first company, my directions never seem to be really clear nor heading to a desired path. I constantly feel that I'm in a crossroad. I constantly feel restless and now that I'm in my new job, I feel very insecure and stressed.
So much to learn, so much to catch up and so little time. I don't know how I can cope. I have not spent so much time at home after office hours reading or doing office-related stuff for quite a while. And when I'm ticked off by a 'senior' just 3 weeks into the job, I felt super miserable. I won't deny the fact that I have thoughts of quiting but a part of me tells me to persevere on.
See, it's a tug of war...again. I'm trying to be positive. Thank God I have friends whom I can call and pour out my feelings to. They have also been my source of comfort and encouragement. Of course, God, I thank you for listening to me, though I feel I don't deserved to be listened to cos I have not been very near You.
After getting my feelings off my chest and a good night's sleep. I am feeling more positive. I shall have to keep reminding myself to take things in my stride and be bolder.